"I'm a crook, honest."

Donna and I are leaving Friday for a much needed vacation. We're headed to the East Coast to visit her sister in NYC and my friend Jason in Baltimore. I've been to New York City one other time (with Jason, actually) and met the world's dumbest con artist.

There were vendors on every corner selling knock-offs of all things imaginable. Watches were popular and TAG Heuer imitations were particularly hot items.

One night we were walking down the street and this guy walked up to us to ask if we wanted a nice watch real cheap. Unwilling to take no for an answer, he proceeded to show us said watch. It could be mine, my new friend told me, for the low price of $300. That was roughly one-fifth retail according to him. Unfortunatley for him, I had seen about a million fake watches that day and could tell this was a fugazi.

Being the persistent swindler he was, this guy assures me it's the real deal. And he can prove it. He then produces a receipt from his jacket pocket that, he says, proves the watch's value. But, and this is where it gets good, he didn't ACTUALLY pay for it himself. You see, he says, he stole some dude's credit card and bought the watch with it. But he don't need a watch, so he's graciously willing to pass the savings on to me.

So, this guy wanted me to take his word on the authenticity of the watch by convincing me that he was a thief.