This is Going to Hurt Me More Than it Hurts You

About two months ago, when my Beloved Dallas Cowboys started falling apart, I realized that I am far too emotionally invested in them. It’s a game, after all. But as much as I try to put things into perspective, I can’t seem to do it.

And after Sunday’s spectacular flame-out in Philadelphia I struggled to understand how a team could get rolled over like that and seem completely ambivalent about being so thoroughly embarrassed. This is the conclusion I’ve come to: The way they care about the game and the way fans care are gulfs apart.

I grew up cheering for the Cowboys. The pain of going 1-15 in 1989, though dulled by three Super Bowls in the 90s, stays with me. That memory, and a host of other disappointments collected over the years, is what us fans carry with us into each new season.

The difference is the players don’t see it that way. Odds are they didn’t grow up living and dying by how their team performed so those ghosts don’t follow them onto the field. Their points of view are completely different because they usually don’t have much historical perspective. Grow up in Michigan, go to college in California, get drafted by Arizona, get traded to Dallas. So while Sunday’s beating at the hands of a division rival was surely a disappointment, they can be coolly level-headed and logical about it.

Watch any playoff game this weekend and you will see that fans are neither logical nor level-headed.

Turn Off The Lights on Your Way Out

Texas Stadium, home to God’s favorite team, will host its final regular season game on Saturday. I’ve only seen a few games there myself and as a building it’s pretty underwhelming. And for watching on TV I hate how during afternoon games the shadow from the hole in the roof would practically black-out half the field. And it never had much of a home-field advantage because it never seemed to get as loud in there as other stadiums.

But it has become a global icon and undoubtedly the most recognizable sports arena in the world, with the lone exception being maybe the Roman Coliseum.

Frank Luksa, one of the few Cowboys beat reporters from over the years that actually has a brain in his head has put together a list of his top 10 games played there.

Frank Luksa’s Top 10 Texas Stadium Games
Texas Stadium will complete its 37th and final regular season as home field of the Dallas Cowboys on Saturday. Before its hole in the roof is turned into a hole in the ground, I pause to reminisce.

I have seen virtually every game there since 1971 and reduced more than 300 of them to a top 10 of my most memorable. To qualify, a game had to produce a scene never seen before and not likely to repeat.

For instance, I rejected the game (Oct. 27, 2002) in which Emmitt Smith set the NFL career rushing record. Even though it was a historic achievement, it lacked suspense. That Smith would pass Walter Payton's 16,726-yard total was a certainty and a mere waiting game until the moment arrived.

Here, in my opinion, are the top 10 games in Texas Stadium history.

1. Dallas 35, Washington 34 (Dec. 16, 1979)

This was Roger Staubach's last hurrah, his 21st fourth-quarter comeback and one of 14 in the final two minutes. His second touchdown pass in the last four minutes -- an 8-yard fade route to Tony Hill with 39 seconds left -- supplied a he's-done-it-again climax.

The game featured a series of wild surges. Washington scored the first 17 points, Dallas the next 21, Washington 17 more in succession and Dallas the final 14. The game included the most famous tackle in Texas Stadium history -- defensive lineman Larry Cole's third-down stop of John Riggins to prevent the Redskins from deep-freezing their 34-28 lead.

All-in stakes rode with the outcome, another reason even Hail Mary author Staubach described it as "absolutely the most thrilling 60 minutes I ever spent on a football field.'' Bitter rival Washington drew a playoff blank. The Cowboys won the NFC East title, their last hurrah under Staubach.

Staubach's Hall of Fame career ended a week later on an incongruous note during a 21-19 playoff loss to the Los Angeles Rams. He completed his last NFL pass to guard Herb Scott, an ineligible receiver.

2. Dallas 24, Washington 23 (Nov. 28, 1974)
No one can pinpoint the genesis of when the Cowboys-Redskins series turned mean and nasty, and then got worse. It was ornery enough before Diron Talbert's pregame threat to disengage Roger Staubach from his senses.

"We put Staubach out and all they've got is that [Clint]) Longley kid,'' said the Redskins' defensive lineman, unaware that answered prayers can boomerang.

Talbert looked prescient when the Redskins sidelined Staubach with a concussion and rookie Longley entered. Nicknamed "The Mad Bomber" for bouncing passes off Tom Landry's coaching tower in training camp, Longley inherited a hopeless-looking 16-3 deficit early in the third quarter.

He wound up winning the game with a 50-yard touchdown pass to Drew Pearson with 35 seconds left.

"I was in the huddle when he called basically the last play of the game, and we all knew it wouldn't work. So it was, 'OK, let's get this over with,' " recalled fullback Walt Garrison. "Who's going to throw a 50-yard pass for a touchdown? They'll have Drew covered like a blanket. He'll probably throw a 5-yard out to me or Duane Thomas and hope we can run for a touchdown. Hell, I hadn't run 40 yards in my life. I guess that was the only game Longley had that was worth anything, wasn't it?''

This was true. In the summer of '76, Longley sucker-punched Staubach in the locker room at training camp, was traded and faded from the NFL. Nevertheless, his heroics remain immortalized by guard Blaine Nye, who analyzed them as "a triumph of the uncluttered mind.''
3. Miami 16, Dallas 14 (Nov. 25, 1993)
A freak snow-and-sleet storm left Texas Stadium's surface glazed on Thanksgiving, a day forever frozen in infamy by a confused Leon Lett.

Jimmie Jones blocked a 47-yard field goal by Pete Stoyanovich to preserve an apparent 14-13 Dallas victory with scant seconds left to play. As the ball rolled toward the Cowboys' end zone, Dallas players waved their arms in a distinct don't-touch-it warning, like a safe call in baseball.

Lett never got the message. The defensive lineman ran through three lounging Dolphins, stop signs from teammates and ankle-high slush for purposes unknown to this day. Whatever his muddled intent, he kicked the ball to the Cowboys' 1-yard line, where Miami recovered. Stoyanovich converted a 19-yard field goal with 3 seconds remaining to saddle the disbelieving Cowboys with their most bizarre home loss.

"There were 11 men on the field and 10 of them knew what to do,'' sighed special teams coach Joe Avezzano.

4. Dallas 42, Green Bay 31 (Nov. 24, 1994)
Troy Aikman and Rodney Peete were hurt. Neither would play. That left No. 3 quarterback Jason Garrett overmatched against Packers ace Brett Favre.

So it seemed when Green Bay intercepted Garrett's first pass. More evidence of Garrett in over his head arrived at the half with the Packers ahead 17-6. What else could anyone expect? This was second-year Garrett's first NFL start; he'd been inactive the first 10 games of the season and not terribly active thereafter.

What followed has never been explained except in supernatural terms. Garrett produced five touchdowns in less than 19 minutes of the second half. It's his signature on a franchise-record 36 points scored in the second half. He finished with 311 yards passing, two touchdowns and one first-play interception.

Garrett also finished somewhat dazed by what he'd done.

"If this is a fairy tale, so be it,'' he suggested.

5. Philadelphia 27, Dallas 0 (Nov. 23, 1989)
Ah, the Bounty Bowl, when Eagles coach Buddy Ryan allegedly offered $200 to knock kicker Luis Zendejas out of the game and $500 for a Troy Aikman KO.

Things got testy between Eagles coach Buddy Ryan, above, and Jimmy Johnson in 1989.
The charge originated with Zendejas, who claimed he taped the threats via a phone conversation with a Philadelphia source but never produced it for anyone to hear. It didn't matter since it was easier to cast Ryan as a villain who'd already stooped to score a rub-it-in TD against Tom Landry and harpooned successor Jimmy Johnson as a suspect NFL head coach.

"Tell Jimmy there won't be any East Carolinas or Cincinnatis on his schedule,'' Ryan needled when Johnson replaced Landry.

Even after Ryan failed to machine-gun the lifeboats and pulled his regulars late, Johnson was furious at the finish. He bolted to midfield looking for Ryan, thereby prolonging the lack of emphasis on the lousy season unfolding in Dallas.

"I would have said something to Buddy, but he wouldn't stand on the field long enough. He got his fat rear end into the dressing room,'' Johnson snapped.

NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue's investigation predictably cleared the Eagles of plotting naughty things against the Cowboys. The sour aftermath caused curious minds to ponder what might happen in a Buddy-Jimmy rematch later in Philly.

"I wonder if they're going to shake hands … or arm wrestle,'' said Dave Widell of the Cowboys. Nothing untoward occurred between Johnson or Ryan, but it was the game in which Eagles fans pelted Johnson with snow balls (batteries included).

6. Dallas 38, Cincinnati 10 (Nov. 4, 1973)
The greatest one-man show by a middle linebacker and no one else remembers? Good grief. How could anyone forget?

Lee Roy Jordan intercepted three passes from Ken Anderson and returned one 31 yards for a TD. That alone is a remarkable feat for any linebacker and a fancy haul for a defensive back. But wait. It's only a tease.

Jordan intercepted three passes in the first quarter! But wait again. There is more to tell. Jordan made all his interceptions within the span of five minutes! I knew that Jordan stole three but not until I researched old newspaper accounts did the five-minute interval resurface.

I insist that's a record for most picks in the least amount of time in NFL history and await dissenting proof. Jordan's 32 career steals led me to the Elias Sports Bureau to check how Jordan, who played from 1962 to '76, ranked on the all-time list of most interceptions by NFL linebackers.

As expected, he ranked high, tied for third with Miami's Nick Buoniconti (1969-76) and Jack Ham (1971-82) of Pittsburgh. Who is the interception leader? He's Don Shinnick (Baltimore, 1957-68) with 37, followed by Stan White (Baltimore, 1972-79; Detroit 1980-82) with 34. (Elias and I accept your thanks for this information.)

Here is one last note about Jordan, who last played 31 years ago. He still ranks No. 7 on the Cowboys' all-time interception list, ahead of a couple of defensive backs named Cliff Harris (29) and Darren Woodson (23).

7. Dallas 38, San Francisco 21 (Jan. 23, 1994)
The game itself paled in astonishment to what occurred before a duel began for the NFC championship.

This was the play-in game for the Super Bowl, when countdown nerves are taut and no one pops off because loose lips sink ships.

Therefore all was quiet on both fronts. Or it was until …

Jimmy Johnson did something no NFL coach in memory ever did or even thought of doing. First, he called a local radio sports show. Johnson then announced to a baffled talk show host and a stunned audience that the Cowboys would beat the 49ers. Players have guaranteed victories before and after Joe Namath made it a popular gesture; I never heard a head coach with enough nerve or stupidity to do it publicly.

"We will win the ballgame,'' Johnson predicted. "You can put that in three-inch high headlines.''

What made Johnson boast? Well, he was ultra-confident and forever cocky. Like when he was asked if the Cowboys might not have been so successful without Troy Aikman.
"They'd still had me,'' Johnson half-joked.

Others said Johnson was so worked up over the game he couldn't contain himself. Another insider report hinted that some of his bravado could have been Heineken-fueled.
San Francisco coach George Seifert considered Johnson's remark with admiration and bemusement.

"Well, the man has balls. I'll say that,'' Seifert began. "I don't know if they're brass or papier-maché. We'll find out.''

They were brass.

8. San Francisco 41, Dallas 24 (Sept. 24, 2000)
George Teague became captain of my All-Hero team for his tangle with a visiting peacock. Teague knocked Terrell Owens on his butt.

Well, you say, that is supposed to happen when Teague played safety and Owens wide receiver for the 49ers. Yes, but this was different.

It occurred after Owens caught a touchdown pass and for the second time celebrated by racing to midfield where he stood astride the Cowboys star emblem and posed with upraised arms. A blur of blue interrupted the scene and knocked Owens on his pompous rear. That was Teague, the only Cowboy with enough chest hair to physically retaliate against a rank insult with the 49ers ahead, 41-17.

Emmitt Smith had offered a psychological reproach after matching Owens' first TD. He ran to the 50-yard line and spiked the ball on the spot Owens had desecrated. But it took Teague to make the proper response.

"The first time it was, 'OK, you got us. You got your hurrahs,'" said Teague. "But to go back again is where you cross the line. Then it becomes disrespectful.

"We were losing by three touchdowns, maybe four. It was about 145 degrees on the turf and nothing was going our way. I had an intuition that if Owens scored again he'd do something crazy. I made up my mind that if he scores again and grandstands there'll be a fight. Before I knew it I whacked Owens pretty good. What I really appreciated was being quick enough to duck a 300-pounder who then went after me.''

Because Owens later signed with the Cowboys, this incident is hardly ever talked about.

9. Dallas 44, New England 21 (Oct. 24, 1971)
Texas Stadium, with its unique hole-in-the-roof design and thus nicknamed a half-Astrodome, opened to popular acclaim by everyone except the players.

When Texas Stadium opened in 1971, it reminded some players of the Roman Colosseum.
Three complaints arose about the 65,000-seat playpen owner Clint Murchison Jr. built in suburban Irving. First, the field was too hard.

"I dunno what kind of turf it was but if you slid it cut hell out of you. It was harder than Chinese arithmetic,'' said Walt Garrison.

"I'd have to say that old-school guys hated the stadium,'' said Larry Cole. "We used to talk about the Christians, lions and gladiators in the context that all those fat cats up in boxes were drinking scotches and we were the peons down there getting paid very little to entertain them.

"Our concept of football was more like the Cotton Bowl with the crowd outside and involved. You didn't watch a football game with a coat and tie on from a box.''

Third, fans were protected from the elements by an overhang, but players beneath the open hole weren't.

"Hell, if Clint wanted us to fight the elements why didn't he just roof the SOB over and put in a sprinkler system?'' Charlie Waters wondered.

However, negative opinions later softened.

"As time went on it's like, 'This is a pretty nice place,''' said Cole. "What was really nice was when we started playing games there in December. The cold wind didn't blow through the hole in the roof. I loved playing there during the playoffs.''

Murchison's $50,000 tag on Circle Suites was originally accepted as absurdly overpriced when, in retrospect, they were the best real estate buy in north Texas. Some soon resold for $500,000 and up.

10. Green Bay 20, Dallas 10 (Dec. 24, 1989)
Surely no one else remembers anything about a game that ended the maiden season of the Jones-Johnson era with a shiver. The result capped a forlorn 1-15 season with a seven-game losing streak on a subfreezing afternoon.

Why would a visually and physically numbing game stick in my memory? Recall that my criteria for top-10 inclusion should contain an unexpected or unprecedented element. This one qualified because for the only time in Texas Stadium history it was so cold that …

Toilets froze.

I pondered how to combine the frigid scene and 1-15 finish with my usual vibrant prose. Hence I remain pleased to have written:

"The 1989 season was so bad it wouldn't even flush.''

Frank Luksa is a freelance writer based in Plano, Texas. He was a longtime sports columnist for The Dallas Times Herald and Dallas Morning News. Luksa and former Cowboy Drew Pearson are authors of "Remembering Texas Stadium."

Run ASGS, Run

A Slacker Gringo Stomp Takes to the Streets
Thousands Watch as Trio Demonstrates the Power of Spare Time

DALLAS, Texas - Dec. 15, 2008 – More than 17,000 people gathered in Dallas on Sunday to escort half of A Slacker Gringo Stomp through downtown during the Dallas White Rock Half Marathon. Jeremy, Melissa…and…um…ok…there he is…Lance completed the 13.1 mile course while approximately half the city looked on.

“What these three individuals have done will stand as an inspiration for Dallas, no, America, for years to come,” said Dallas mayor Tom Leppert. “They started at one end of American Airlines Center and finished at the other end of American Airlines Center. That’s a distance of about 350 feet. But they chose a route nearly 200 times longer and considerably less efficient. And instead of walking, they ran. That kind of logic is typically reserved for politicians and BCS voters. This is truly a marvel.”

The marathon was the first event for the ASGS Running Team and marked the first time since July that such awesomeness was assembled in one place. Thanks to an injury to Jonathan, Rhonda’s job commitment, and Donna’s abject lack of interest, the trio faced the event without their significant others.

“I would have done it, but I have a physiological reaction to running that is quite scary,” Donna said. “My breathing is labored, I become fatigued, and I begin to sweat. Those are the same symptoms as malaria, so I’m not taking any chances.”

The half marathon was just part of a weekend that included other feats of skill such as horse shoes, darts, ping pong and a game of Who Can Throw the Football and Make it Stick in the Baby Swing.

Next time you are at Whole Foods...

It seems like every time I go to Whole Foods I end up in the bathroom. Maybe the conditions are just right in such a green environment that I simply hear the call of nature...but I think more than that I simply want to see if the water saving, poo composting, granola eating crowd is being true to hardcore environmentalism. If the average person can subscribe to the "if it's yellow, let it mellow" tenant then shouldn't the more hardcore of the environmental movement take it a step further? But, each time I go into the bathrooms there the water is as clear as Jessica Simpson's face (post Proactiv of course). This got me thinking-maybe I should make my contribution to the movement in a way that will inspire true hardcore environmentalism to take hold. So, next time I am in Whole Foods I hope I have to go #2 so that I can post my little sign "if it's brown don't flush it down." After all, shouldn't we be willing to deal with a little more stench in order to save the whales and stop climate change? As a bonus, maybe I won't even use toilet paper. I mean, don't we need to save the trees as well?

Tales From A Pre-Kindergarten Teacher (May 2008)

Timothy volunteered to pray before lunch one day. This is what he said: Dear God, please help my mom to not say bad words. Help me not to sleep with gum in my mouth. Help my mom and dad to get along. In Jesus name, Amen.

When talking about the beheading of John the Baptist, Ivan said that he wished that God’s big hand could just pick up John’s head and put it back on.

This is the answer I got when I asked Timothy the definition of a mustache. A mustache is something that stays on your nose for a lot of days.

Amiracle’s feelings got hurt the other day. She said, “Everyone is laughing at me except for me.”

The children were talking about special things they could do for their moms in honor of Mother's Day. Their suggestions included: flowers, cards, doing mom's chores, giving her a hug and kiss. The best suggestion was from Timothy who is an avid fan of the "Bibleman" movies. Timothy said he wanted to give his mom a sword for Mother's Day. I asked him if he she would really like a sword or if that is something he would like as a gift. He assured me that his mother would love to have a sword so that she can protect herself.

During lunch time, Gabriel and Timothy were trying to remember the three members of the Trinity. Gabriel said, “Holy Spirit, Jesus and …” Before he could finish his thought, Timothy suggested, “Bibleman?”

During nap time I told Gabriel (who had not fallen asleep) that he could read a book until I woke up the other children in five minutes. He said, “That’s what time my church ends, at five minutes!”

Whenever Nicholas gets distracted in the classroom, I tell him that if he keeps his eyes on me, then he will learn. If he does not keep his eyes on me and participate, then he will not learn. Recently I assessed him on his letter recognition. I noticed a significant improvement in his ability to identify letters and their sounds. I asked him if he and his mom had been practicing with the letter flashcards I had sent home. He said, “No, I have just been keeping my eyes on you.” This was a reminder to me to keep my eyes on Jesus. I will learn and grow if I stay focused on the Lord. If I get distracted by all the worries around me, then I will become stunted, never reaching my full potential. The truths I teach my students are the truths I need to hear and practice myself.

My students keep complaining that they have the "hook-ups" instead of the "hick-ups."

Timothy informed me that he could count to 1,009. I told him to try. He counted from 1 to 109 perfectly, then skipped to 1,000 and ended up with 1,009! J If only it were that easy.

I told my students I would be taking pictures of them outside on the playground. Gabriel commented that if I had their pictures then I would never miss them.

My students and I were talking about the kind of food that makes you healthy and strong. Timothy told me that he was “strong and mighty in the Lord’s power.”

Amiracle informed me that her brother was “seven for a long time, and now he’s eight.”

This is how Ivan said that God made angels: he made them, painted them yellow, put wings on them, the put lightening on them to make them bright.

I read a story to my students called, “Katy No Pocket.” There is a crocodile in the story that is friendly and smiles. Timothy wanted to make sure we all knew that the story was pretend. He said, “In this world, crocodiles are mean and don’t smile.”

Ivan comment during prayer time, “Mrs. Gant, you prayed so fast. Did God hear you? I think he did because he has big ears.”

A volunteer was working with Amiracle on recognizing opposites from pictures on cards. She did so well on them that the volunteer encouraged her to make up her own. She came up with a couple of good ones and then looked at the volunteer and offered emphatically "truth and lie." I had been teaching the children about what it means to be wise and foolish. I told them that when you are wise, you know what is right and what is wrong, as well as the difference between the truth and a lie. A foolish person chooses what is wrong and believes lies. I was so excited to hear that wisdom is blooming in this little girl’s heart.

Fun in the Sun

The Shaums visited Austin this weekend and they flat wore us out. Trinity is 7 and already smarter than me. Zeke is 3 and already bigger than me. Eden is only four months old and has redder hair than me.

We took them to the pool on Saturday and Zeke wanted to ride the water slide. This will go down in history as the day Zeke became a man.

Demonstrating that he has more mettle than I did at his age, he climbed the stairs to the top of the slide while we watched from below. We were wondering how high he would get before realizing what the hell he was getting himself into. From where we were, at the end of the slide, we lost sight of Zeke momentarily when he reached the top, but we saw the lifeguard toss aside a life jacket that looked suspiciously like the one Zeke was wearing (not allowed on the slide). Surely the lifeguard, who as far as anyone knows is PAID to keep people from DROWNING, would not jettison Zeke’s life jacket?

Heck yes she would. The next thing we knew Zeke was careening toward us, sans life jacket. He plunged into the pool where Craig snatched him up. I was still kind of amazed he went through with it and watched to see if the look on his face was exhilaration or terror.
It was actually confusion.

Apparently he was as puzzled as we were about the lifeguard’s decision to remove the life jacket because when Craig lifted him out of the water and he caught his breath, the first thing he said was, “I can’t swim.” This was not a panicked, “I CAN’T SWIM!” like someone may invoke while being pulled away by the tide, but more like a general statement of fact, like…, “not sure what that broad was thinking, but I can’t swim.”

The second thing he said was, “she took my life jacket!” This was a little closer to panic, though tempered now that he was safe. He repeated it a couple of times, as if trying to make sense of why on earth an adult, someone who is SUPPOSED to take care of him, would do something as STUPID as send him down a gigantic water slide without a life jacket, essentially signing his death warrant?

Then, in what I think was a gesture of defiance to his would-be assassin, Zeke hauled his stones back up the stairs and went again.

Car Talk

Donna is in the process of shopping for some new wheels, and that is a post for another time, but it got me thinking about how utterly UN-interested in cars I am. I don't think it's uncommon for guys these days to know almost nothing about cars, not like our dads who could rebuild carburetors blindfolded. But something happened with my generation and along the way we never mastered this skill. At least I never did.

Even saying all of that, I love listening to Car Talk on NPR on Saturdays. When I dial up Click and Clack on the dial I always stay put. Not because I am a gear head, but because they are fun to listen to. They could do a 90-minute show about sewing and I would probably listen. Donna likes it too, and she knows less about cars than me.

Best Story Ever

Last night I noticed my friend Nason had a scar above his eye, the kind of scar that usually comes with a good story about how it got there. What he told me qualifies as one of the funniest things I have ever heard.

He was in pre-school, I can't remember how old he said he was, maybe 3 or 4. And there was a kid in his class swinging a toy firetruck around and around by the ladder. Nason wandered into the path of said firetruck and got cracked in the head.

When the teacher called Nason's mom, she said, "Mrs. Hengst, you need to come to the school right now. Nason has been hit by a fire truck." Then she hung up the phone without any additional explanation.

Nason's mom is still pissed.

Tales from a Pre-Kindergarten Teacher

I was explaining to my students about the Easter tradition of dying Easter eggs. I quickly realized I should have defined my words first when one student exclaimed, “Why do you want to kill Easter eggs?!”

My class was thrilled to take care of another class’s pet fish, Samson, for a few days. Since we had just recently read about Samson in the Bible, they made an instant connection about the name of the fish. One child said, “God will have to tell Samson (in heaven) that there is a fish with his name.” Several children then offered ideas of what they would name a pet fish if they owned one. My three favorite names were: Biblefish after the movie character “Bibleman,” Thomas after Thomas the train, and Mrs. Gant after me, of course.

One day it was very foggy outside. Several students told me it was “froggy” outside. Then another student told me that there must be fog outside because “God is smoking up in heaven.”

Children respond in a variety of ways when they have to sit in time-out for misbehaving in the classroom. Some of them go peacefully, others may kick in anger, cry, or refuse to move. One child showed his resistance by loudly signing our school’s hymn of the month, “O, Victory in Jesus” at the top of his lungs. It was hard not to laugh.

Among the many life skills I teach my students, slicing an apple with an apple slicer is one of their favorites. They love to be splashed by the juice of the apple as they slice it. One day when observing a juicy apple being sliced, one student commented that “the apple is crying.”

Here are some of the response to my question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
a kite flier, a princess, a doctor, a doctor AND a princess, cut down trees and kill ants

I was informed recently by a four year old that “There are two kinds of B’s. There is the letter “B” and the bee that stings you.”

I asked my students to tell me how God created human beings. Some of the answers included, “He squished us and put our skin all over us.” “He made us out of sand, he touched us, and we changed into real life people.” “He made us out of wood.” Then I asked, “Do you mean like Pinocchio?” The child replied, “Yes. Our nose does not get longer like Pinocchio, but our fingernails do.”

Often when my students pray, they tend to use random phrases they have heard others pray. The sentences do not always flow together very well, but you can usually pick up the child’s general meaning. I imagine that God understands them perfectly. One little boy prayed before lunch, “God, give us this day. Help us not be silly and have self-control.”

While I was teaching my students about the events of Holy Week, one student commented that “They (the Roman soldiers) put a crown of thorns on Jesus’ head even though it did not fit. One thing the Roman soldiers did was nice. They got someone else to carry the cross for Jesus.”

I have been trying to explain to my students about how Jesus took the punishment we deserved for our sin. I believe one student in particular has really latched on to the concept. He said, “It broke my heart when Jesus died on MY cross for MY sins. Was I alive when Jesus died in my place?”

I informed my students that we would be watching a movie about the life of Jesus. The next day a little boy told me, “I know what we are going to do today. We are going to watch a movie about someone who can do miracles just like his dad—it’s Jesus!”

If God is my heavenly Father, then who is my heavenly Mother?” one child asked me. After I explained that we only have a heavenly father, another child replied, “If God had a wife, we would call her Mrs. God.”

Child Life Month

March is Child Life Month, a time of year designated for promoting the importance of child and family development. Donna was featured in the news release below about the importance of child life specialists and the addition of these services to the new hospital. This does a good job explaining her role and I thought you all would be interested in reading about the field she has dedicated herself to.

Seton Medical Center Williamson Eases Hospital Experience for Children
Newest Hospital First to Offer Child Life Services in Williamson County

Round Rock, TX (March 27, 2008) – Difficult or unexpected experiences, such as a trip to the emergency room or the hospitalization of a family member, are upsetting for all involved, but children are particularly vulnerable. To support the unique needs of children during stressful situations, Seton Medical Center Williamson (SMCW) offers Child Life Services.

Trained professionals, called Child Life Specialists, are vital members of the healthcare team at SMCW. These certified specialists are experts in child development who help children cope through play, preparation, education and self-expression.

“When I work with a child, one of my goals is to help them understand and cope with the hospital environment on their terms,” said Donna Brown-Looper, one of two Child Life Specialists on staff at SMCW. “For example, if a child arrives at the Emergency Department with a broken bone, I help them prepare for the procedure by explaining what will happen or how the medical instruments will be used – all on a level that the child understands.”

Brown-Looper also offers children their choice of coping strategies which gives them some control over stressful medical situations. Children can choose to be distracted by a toy, book or music, squeeze stress balls or practice deep breathing. Stress can be a major inhibitor in the ability of a patient to heal and stay well.

“Sometimes giving the child a simple job during a procedure, such as holding a bandage for the nurse, can help alleviate stress,” she added.

Since opening in February, more than 340 children have come to SMCW’s Emergency Department, making this area a key focus for Child Life Services. In addition, the Child Life Specialists provide support to children who are admitted to the hospital’s pediatric inpatient unit or children who have family members in the hospital.

The hospital’s playroom is a refuge for children trying to deal with these difficult circumstances. “It may sound simple, but encouraging play helps children normalize their environment,” said Brown-Looper. “It’s a setting where they are the leader. They have the opportunity to act out anxiety and fears and express their feelings.”

“The Child Life program is a great example of how Seton Medical Center Williamson combines the best in complex care with a more holistic healing approach that addresses the mind, body and spirit,” said Michelle Robertson, vice president and chief operating officer, Seton Medical Center Williamson.

As the program grows, Brown-Looper hopes to expand services to more areas of the hospital, as well as offer much-needed community services such as support groups for children with chronic illnesses and infant/child car seat checks to ensure proper use.

Calling all Cars

On Friday night Donna and I were watching some news coverage of the two college girls murdered last week. Very sad, to be sure. But as we were watching, the crawler at the bottom of the screen flashed the following item:

"Anyone who sees a Honda Civic should call police immediately."

Anyone? I think this particular cable outlet broadcasts to about 50 million people worldwide, and Honda has sold about 100 billion Civics in the past 20 years, so this call to action seems a little alarmist to me. I could have walked out into the parking lot of the pizza place we were at in Round Rock, Texas, and read the license numbers of seven Civics.

Not sure any of them had any bearing on the events in Chapel Hill or Auburn.

Cowboys and Poets

Donna and I attended the 22nd Annual Cowboy Poetry Gathering in Alpine this weekend. Nothing speaks to the diversity of Texas like a cowboy reciting Whitman. The poetry was fun, but the highlight for me was the change of pace from Austin. Brewster County has a population density of about 1 person per square mile, so it was nice getting away from the crowded city.

My affection for the great state of Texas was bolstered by the diversity of what we saw. Where the Hill Country/Austin region is known for its plentiful natural resources, the plains of West Texas are just as striking for its barrenness. The irony of this is the relationships the people in these areas have with their surroundings. For example, my company’s headquarters in Austin is situated on a nice, wooded campus complete with acres and acres of juniper sage and live oak trees. We also have a spring-fed pond and a nature trail. I have a great view of all of this from my fifth floor office window.

But the places we visited this weekend are at the other end of the spectrum. Technically a desert, the area is dry rocky, yet agriculture is the primary industry. Seems backwards for me to be cooped up in an office in Austin where just about anything and everything flourishes while ranchers and farmers scratch out a living in some of the most unforgiving terrain anywhere.

31

Donna's 31st birthday is Saturday. I met her when she was 18 and, gosh, a lot happens in 13 years. To celebrate, we're heading out of town for a nice long weekend. We're going to a cowboy poetry gathering in Alpine, Texas, and a few days in the dessert is just what the doctor ordered.

Anyway, Donna will be 31, which means we are the same age for the next several months before I jump ahead of her again.

Lowest Common Denominator

I've noticed that when guys get together our conversation is completely dependant on how many of us there are. For example, two guys talking will discuss issues like social reform, the influence of Dickens on Victorian literature, or the incommunicable attributes of God.

But throw another dude into the mix and the subject matter deteriorates at a staggering rate. Something happens when the number grows beyond two of us and educated, philosophical commentary turns into punching each other in the nuts and wondering out loud who would stand a better chance in a fight with Mike Tyson.

Super Bowl

It took me until nearly kick-off to decide which team I hated more in the Super Bowl, but I eventually settled on the Patriots. So as much as it bummed me out to watch the Giants win the championship that Dallas should have won, I was glad we no longer have to listen to how Tom Brady will wash away our sins.

I did see something cool on SportsCenter yesterday though. It was Eli and Peyton at Eli's locker after the game laughing and smiling. From experience, I can tell you that few things in life compare to the feeling of doing something that impresses your big brother.

Dig What You Do

What would life be like in a world where everyone really enjoyed their work? Imagine how much more pleasant a call to the Cingular customer service department would be if the person on the other end of the line really wanted to be there.

Alas, most of us working stiffs, even the ones lucky enough to work in our chosen fields, find it difficult to continuously stoke the fires of enthusiasm for 40-plus hours a week, 12 months a year.

Today I came across this editorial in Newsweek from Christopher Nolan about Heath Ledger, whom Nolan directed as the Joker in the forthcoming Batman movie. I understand that pretending to be an iconic comic book villain isn't on par with, say, the demands of being a nurse or an accountant, but talk about someone who enjoyed their work...

Charisma as Natural as Gravity

Best known for his haunting, Oscar-nominated performance as Ennis Del Mar, one of the gay cowboys in 2005 ' s "Brokeback Mountain," Ledger was a massive young talent on the cusp of greatness when he died last week in New York. The native Australian, who is survived by his 2-year-old daughter, Matilda, had recently finished work on this summer's "Batman" sequel, "The Dark Knight," in which he plays a villain, the Joker. Christopher Nolan, the film's director, shared these memories:

One night, as I'm standing on LaSalle Street in Chicago, trying to line up a shot for "The Dark Knight," a production assistant skateboards into my line of sight. Silently, I curse the moment that Heath first skated onto our set in full character makeup. I'd fretted about the reaction of Batman fans to a skateboarding Joker, but the actual result was a proliferation of skateboards among the younger crew members. If you'd asked those kids why they had chosen to bring their boards to work, they would have answered honestly that they didn't know. That's real charisma—as invisible and natural as gravity. That's what Heath had.

Heath was bursting with creativity. It was in his every gesture. He once told me that he liked to wait between jobs until he was creatively hungry. Until he needed it again. He brought that attitude to our set every day. There aren't many actors who can make you feel ashamed of how often you complain about doing the best job in the world. Heath was one of them.
One time he and another actor were shooting a complex scene. We had two days to shoot it, and at the end of the first day, they'd really found something and Heath was worried that he might not have it if we stopped. He wanted to carry on and finish. It's tough to ask the crew to work late when we all know there's plenty of time to finish the next day. But everyone seemed to understand that Heath had something special and that we had to capture it before it disappeared. Months later, I learned that as Heath left the set that night, he quietly thanked each crew member for working late. Quietly. Not trying to make a point, just grateful for the chance to create that they'd given him.

Those nights on the streets of Chicago were filled with stunts. These can be boring times for an actor, but Heath was fascinated, eagerly accepting our invitation to ride in the camera car as we chased vehicles through movie traffic—not just for the thrill ride, but to be a part of it. Of everything. He'd brought his laptop along in the car, and we had a high-speed screening of two of his works-in-progress: short films he'd made that were exciting and haunting. Their exuberance made me feel jaded and leaden. I've never felt as old as I did watching Heath explore his talents. That night I made him an offer—knowing he wouldn't take me up on it—that he should feel free to come by the set when he had a night off so he could see what we were up to.

When you get into the edit suite after shooting a movie, you feel a responsibility to an actor who has trusted you, and Heath gave us everything. As we started my cut, I would wonder about each take we chose, each trim we made. I would visualize the screening where we'd have to show him the finished film—sitting three or four rows behind him, watching the movements of his head for clues to what he was thinking about what we'd done with all that he'd given us. Now that screening will never be real. I see him every day in my edit suite. I study his face, his voice. And I miss him terribly.

Back on LaSalle Street, I turn to my assistant director and I tell him to clear the skateboarding kid out of my line of sight when I realize—it's Heath, woolly hat pulled low over his eyes, here on his night off to take me up on my offer. I can't help but smile.

Free ride...um, I mean, free speech

Austin's solicitation laws are pretty lax, so most street corners are populated with panhandlers. It's not uncommon to see three or four people working the same intersection during peak hours. There have been efforts to curb this in the past, but with good enough lawyerin', I suppose you could squeeze just about anything underneath the protective umbrella of the First Amendment.

But I saw a guy today with a sign that read: "I aint proud of this, but at least I'm not robbing houses or selling drugs."

I suppose that logic makes a pretty compelling case for begging on the street, but I wonder where getting a job falls into his world view?

Perception and Reality

More times than I can count this week I have heard the term "perception is reality" used with complete abandon. This is a sampling of the disparate conversations in which this phrase has been bandied about:

1. A discussion about the NFL playoffs
2. During an NPR story about the Middle East
3. In a conversation at work

First, for the phrase itself to have even a modicum of validity, it would need to be revised to say "perception is a reality" but that still doesn't address the heart of the issue.

What people really mean when they say this is that they are too lazy to find out what the reality is. Instead, they are going to let their perceptions drive their behavior. And, in case they are wrong, they can justify it simply by spouting off that trite little phrase. The implication is that people are responsible for how they are perceived, and as long as someone's behavior supports their perception, it's cool.

I am hereby removing this jargon from the English language. Violators will have their tongues removed.