I was explaining to my students about the Easter tradition of dying Easter eggs. I quickly realized I should have defined my words first when one student exclaimed, “Why do you want to kill Easter eggs?!”
My class was thrilled to take care of another class’s pet fish, Samson, for a few days. Since we had just recently read about Samson in the Bible, they made an instant connection about the name of the fish. One child said, “God will have to tell Samson (in heaven) that there is a fish with his name.” Several children then offered ideas of what they would name a pet fish if they owned one. My three favorite names were: Biblefish after the movie character “Bibleman,” Thomas after Thomas the train, and Mrs. Gant after me, of course.
One day it was very foggy outside. Several students told me it was “froggy” outside. Then another student told me that there must be fog outside because “God is smoking up in heaven.”
Children respond in a variety of ways when they have to sit in time-out for misbehaving in the classroom. Some of them go peacefully, others may kick in anger, cry, or refuse to move. One child showed his resistance by loudly signing our school’s hymn of the month, “O, Victory in Jesus” at the top of his lungs. It was hard not to laugh.
Among the many life skills I teach my students, slicing an apple with an apple slicer is one of their favorites. They love to be splashed by the juice of the apple as they slice it. One day when observing a juicy apple being sliced, one student commented that “the apple is crying.”
Here are some of the response to my question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
a kite flier, a princess, a doctor, a doctor AND a princess, cut down trees and kill ants
I was informed recently by a four year old that “There are two kinds of B’s. There is the letter “B” and the bee that stings you.”
I asked my students to tell me how God created human beings. Some of the answers included, “He squished us and put our skin all over us.” “He made us out of sand, he touched us, and we changed into real life people.” “He made us out of wood.” Then I asked, “Do you mean like Pinocchio?” The child replied, “Yes. Our nose does not get longer like Pinocchio, but our fingernails do.”
Often when my students pray, they tend to use random phrases they have heard others pray. The sentences do not always flow together very well, but you can usually pick up the child’s general meaning. I imagine that God understands them perfectly. One little boy prayed before lunch, “God, give us this day. Help us not be silly and have self-control.”
While I was teaching my students about the events of Holy Week, one student commented that “They (the Roman soldiers) put a crown of thorns on Jesus’ head even though it did not fit. One thing the Roman soldiers did was nice. They got someone else to carry the cross for Jesus.”
I have been trying to explain to my students about how Jesus took the punishment we deserved for our sin. I believe one student in particular has really latched on to the concept. He said, “It broke my heart when Jesus died on MY cross for MY sins. Was I alive when Jesus died in my place?”
I informed my students that we would be watching a movie about the life of Jesus. The next day a little boy told me, “I know what we are going to do today. We are going to watch a movie about someone who can do miracles just like his dad—it’s Jesus!”
If God is my heavenly Father, then who is my heavenly Mother?” one child asked me. After I explained that we only have a heavenly father, another child replied, “If God had a wife, we would call her Mrs. God.”
Last night I noticed my friend Nason had a scar above his eye, the kind of scar that usually comes with a good story about how it got there. What he told me qualifies as one of the funniest things I have ever heard.